No one told me. Not a person said anything.  Nary a word was whispered. Instead, I heard about labour pains, nursing pains, contractions lasting for hours, post-partum depression and the like.  But it seems as if everyone forgot to mention that in addition to fighting to stay true to yourself and to who you are when you become a mother, you also have to share everything you own for the rest of your life.

At birth, I am already sharing my body with them. Fair enough. But as my children get older, I realize that the dependency does not end it just switches gears. In their toddler years, I forgot what privacy meant. I couldn’t use the loo in peace, shower, chat on the phone, do my makeup and missed many a hair appointment. Out of sheer effort I left the house looking semi-presentable. But how was I to know that the sharing continues to adolescence and early adulthood?

If you have a daughter like me, and you all have similar tastes, get a safety box with a combination lock. Hair accessories, makeup, clothes, lotion, perfumes, put them all in if you want to maintain your sanity. You do not know frustration until you are looking for something to wear or use, and it’s not where you left it because she decided to borrow, sorry take it.  I never signed any contract with her saying these things were communal and what makes it harder, is she has her own things which you dare not touch.

The thing is it doesn’t end there. From the time they get their first tooth till they have their full thirty-two, everything you will ever put in your mouth is to be shared. Never again you will enjoy that cookie your co-worker brought you or that slice of chocolate cake in peace. Your favourite desserts are now their favourite desserts. Until you’ve passed the course, Fridge Camouflage 101, you will struggle to eat something in peace. That, or get some strategic hiding spots throughout your house. If all else fails, your car is an excellent spot.  Get rid of all the evidence and get on with the rest of your life guilt free. 😉

Tell me in the comments, what do you or don’t you like to share?


  1. Spicealious says:

    Honestly, I can understand having a daughter who admires you and wants to be just like you, so in an effort to try to prevent any conflict between my daughter and I, everything that I purchase for myself I purchase for her…. most times in a different colour so that I can tell them apart. Just for me to turn around and see her with both items is enough to trip me off 🤨🥴….. Then I came to the realization that it does not matter if I give her something just like what I have, once it’s not mummy’s it not the same🤷🏾‍♀️ smdh.

  2. Zisca says:

    I am the daughter in this post lol. I laughed so loudly when I read that the daughter refuses to share even though everything the mother has she considers her property too! That was me as a teenager. Guilty. Thanks for sharing. My eyes are opened to this aspect of my mother’s sacrifice

  3. Jacqueline says:

    This is a very relatable article. Your life changes once you have children. They emulate you, they want to do everything that you do, like share your dreams and ambition, they also want to look like you, and that’s their way of showing you love.

    Children learn what they see (most of the time) so as parents we have to set great examples.

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