Every day that passes I am amazed at humanity. You know that they say a mother could recognize her child’s voice in a sea of voices. Whatever her child calls her, Ma, Mammy, or Mom, she can distinguish that voice from all others. Her mummy senses can sift through the cacophony and hear her child and her child alone.

I’m wondering if this theory also works on car horns. Every afternoon without fail, there is some driver, parent, grandma, or aunty, who either knows this to be true or puts this theory to the test.

On afternoons I am hot, sticky and exhausted and just want to get home like the rest of the population. So why are these horners subjecting us to this? As sure as the sun is in the sky, a driver is bound to pull up in front of the school driveway, block everyone else, and honk their horn interminably. A typical primary school houses an average of four hundred students, and there are scores of distinct types of cars. Why do you think your child can hear your car horn, amidst the bedlam that ensues when school is dismissed?  Picture this: Driver A pulls up and starts to honk, children of said driver are running helter-skelter unconcerned.  Driver two, of course, not to be undone does the exact thing. By now there’s a snaking line of traffic backed up as the rest of us suffer in the afternoon heat.

I’m curious. Is horn practice a thing? Do you schedule it in, right after homework and the afternoon snack? Do you rush off to the car, sit them down and say okay, listen to me pop my horn, when you hear this sound today at exactly 3:15 p.m. get your bags and come dashing out? If you’ve ever been at a school on afternoon dismissal, you would know that when that bell goes it’s pure pandemonium. Once, whilst walking to pick up my son, a random side of shoe flew over the fence and landed at my feet. That alone should tell you. Why add to it by staying in your car popping your horn and obstructing traffic?

Come on drivers, we can do better!

Stop the horning!

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